The Legacy of Shadows
by Yui-Mag
Summary: Set some time after Sai disappears in the manga series. Hikaru has always carried the burden of being Sai's shadow. When 'Someday' comes will that burden be lightened since it will be shared? Or will it only define him and his rival further?


Disclaimer- Hikaru no Go characters are not of my own creation. I def. don't own them though sometimes I wish I did because they're all so lovable. I just borrowed them from time to time, just for the duration of a story or two. The lyrics are from Minutes to Midnight, Linkin Park's new cd. The song is _Leave Out All the Rest._ I hope you enjoy.

The Legacy of Shadows

Part One

**I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared**

Hikaru wasn't quite sure what had brought him here in the dead of the night. He'd just woken up and felt this urgency flooding through him and it caused a restlessness that couldn't be alleviated. He hadn't even tried to alleviate it. He'd simply gotten up and slipped on something that wouldn't cause anyone he passed along the street to be shock. As he'd walked outside, the warm summer air causing his light clothes to stick to him like a second skin, the dream came back to him slowly. Like a flower gently opening up the sun, petal by petal—tendril by tendril, soaking everything up.

**But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared**

He'd dreamt of a world. His world. His lifetime. And yet it hadn't been. Because he no longer existed. He watched as Akari grew up with another best friend, found love, strength, and never discovered Go. She never continued the Go club for Tsutsui's sake, never met Kaga and Mitani and…she seemed so happy. So complete.

His parents grew old together, childless but happy never the less. Never worried, never having to work overtime to feed an extra mouth. And all the people he had met, he watched them grow and live without him. All did well, maybe were even better off because of it.

Until…

He watched as Touya took the pro exam before he should've. Saw his rival burn up the Go world and then wither away, always searching for something, for someone, and always coming away from each game empty-handed, disappointed, and desperate. His Go was incomplete. He was incomplete. His passion for Go dimmed with each game. Serious green eyes would look to the sky. Hikaru was being missed.

Until…

He watched as the old Goban in his grandfather's attic continued to gather dust and mold. It was completely forgotten in the shadows, slowly breaking down with age. And when his grandfather past away, his parents—having never seen the use of Go and keeping anything that didn't have a practical use—got rid of everything. Sai, Sai, Sai…His mind screamed as he saw the Goban go up in flames. The cheerful spirit, his mentor, and friend was lost.

**After my dreaming**

Sai.

**I woke with this fear**

It always came back to him. Hikaru closed his eyes, his right hand coming to grab the fabric right above his heart. Even after six years, the ache was still there. And lately…there had been whispers, rumors growing from the shadows. People were curious about him once more, wondering who had taught him, how had he become so strong, his connection to Sai.

It never fucking ended.

**What am I leaving  
When I'm done here?**

He was still in the shadows. And his dream had spelled it out so clearly to him. It had scared him. What would _he_ leave behind in this world? Not Sai, not Sai's shadow, but what would _he_ be remembered for? Nothing? Just a mystery? An anomaly?

Sai's abrupt departure from his side had taught him something important even if he hadn't understood it until now. Anyone could leave—like that, without a warning, without a trace. Life wasn't predictable, life wasn't moldable… it wasn't controllable.

What if tomorrow was his last day? What if it really was and he'd never kept his promises, despite all his best intentions? What if he betrayed them? Would he too just disappear from the world? Remembered dimly but not really cause no one knew _him_ really. Except Touya. But even there, his rival had an incomplete picture of him. The ache in his heart grew and his fingers tightened. So he continued to walk, growing desperate for any kind of breeze to cool him.

And now, here he was, cell phone in hand looking up at Touya's darkened window. He dialed the numbers and waited. Hikaru watched as a light was turned on and then—"Shindo?"

"Touya." He swallowed hard. "Today is someday." The silence that followed was profound and Hikaru could only stare at that window, wondering what his rival was doing.

"Where are you?" The voice was soft.

"Look out the window." There was the sound of rustling and another brighter light was flicked on before the window was opened fully.

"You…" Touya started and Hikaru saw him shake his head. Whatever the other go player would have said was swallowed. "Would you like to come inside?"

"No." Hikaru said softly, eyes never leaving his rival's form. "Come outside. We'll walk to the Go Institute." He hung up the phone. His rival would follow him. It was their way. One would follow the other, chasing until they caught up and then the roles would reverse and on and on it would continue. Like a never ending carousel.

Until one of them died.

**So if you ask me then… I want you to know**

Touya listened to all of Hikaru's words, never once interrupting the flow of his words despite their fantastic nature. Hikaru watched his rival carefully, taking in the slightly stiff posture such as contrast to his as he leaned against the cool wall. Touya was expressionless as always, hiding away his emotions and any possible disbelief from him. He didn't care. He had expected it to be this way.

"Now you know." Hikaru ended softly, he brushed at his eyes. They were prickling but no tears were falling. "And I don't care if you don't believe me. But it's the truth. I couldn't make this up and I wouldn't have wanted to." He glared at his rival in defiance, waiting for a negative reaction. Anger? Denial? Disbelief? Disgust?

Nothing.

Touya continued to sit, arms crossed against his chest. He was silent, his lips pursed together. The stretching silence was making Hikaru want to laugh, increasing the deepening sense of unreality of this scene.

"Fuck. Don't you have anything to say to me? No reaction? I just told you _everything_! And if you don't believe me then I'd rather you tell me now. Or do you believe me and are you disappointed with me? Knowing that you could have Sai as your rival and instead you're just stuck with me? Disgusted cause I played instead of letting hi—" He stopped, mid-sentence simply from the look Touya shot him.

"Don't be a bigger idiot than you already are, Shindo." Touya stood up in one swift motion and looked down at him with a fierce expression. And like that—all of his rival's emotions flickered into his face and Hikaru understood them. "You." Touya started. "Are _my _rival." Possessive. He offered his hand. Proud. Hikaru took it, not conscious of how sweaty or hot his palms were compared to Touya's slightly cooler touch. Bewildered. "Not Sai." Confused. "It was you I chased." Understanding.

"Not always." The words slipped out as he was pulled upright. They were almost nose to nose and Hikaru saw as Touya blinked in surprise.

"No. Not always." Touya assented. "But you weren't playing at all then. Only Sai was. What did you expect?"

"I played at that tournament!" Hikaru muttered, not wanting to let it go. Wanting to make sure of the truth behind Touya's words, not wanting any questions to remain between the two of them. "You were disappointed then. You wanted Sai." Touya snorted, dropping his hand.

"It was my first time playing _you_." He shook his head and took a step back. "I didn't know your go at that time. I only knew Sai's. Again, what did you expect? How would you have felt in my place?"

**When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done**

Hikaru didn't answer the question. He pushed it aside with a wave of his hand. Part of him was comforted. Touya was logical as always and his words soothed him as well as irritated him. "You do believe me."

"It's that or you're schizophrenic or have multiple personalities. However," Touya continued, ignoring Hikaru's choked sound. "The other possibilities don't make as much sense as your story. It's crazy and frightening to think of and hard to believe but…" Touya paused. "You've never lied to me. You wouldn't lie to me about this."

Everything was finally clear between the two rivals.

**Help me leave behind  
Some reasons to be missed**

"Touya," Hikaru heaved a gulp of breath in. "I'm glad." He hid his face in his hands. "I'm so glad."

**Don't resent me  
When you're feeling empty**

'Sai? Are you there? Did you hear? Did you see? I'm not the only one who knows about you. I'm not the only one who'll remember you…' The thoughts raced through his mind each followed with a hot tear of relief rolling down his face. Hikaru heard Touya moving beside him, coming to stand next to him. There was a moment of stillness and then…

**Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest**

A warm hand rested on his shoulder.

**Leave out all the rest**

A solid presence was anchoring him to this world, to this lifetime. Hikaru leaned into the touch and let the wall he'd built around him crumble bit by bit. Touya remained silent throughout the process. He understood in a manner that Hikaru was still unaware but would soon find out. Being the bearer of shadows was a taxing task. Trying to move away and overcome them was even harder.

He felt his grip loosen on the shoulder when Hikaru lifted his head, a shaky smile stretched onto his face. With one hand, his rival wiped the evidence away. The two sat on the floor facing each other in the same manner that they would have if they were playing a game. There were still some things that needed to be said.

Some memories yet to be shared and discovered between the two of them.

To be continued…


End file.
